Testimonials.
“Dear White Friends, from one white person to another, please read this book. Mr. Gravely calmly and politely (sometimes perhaps too polite but he is trying to give you, his friend, the benefit of the doubt) explains racism, the causes, the results, why it needs to change, and how my dear friend you can help change the system. The entire book felt like a collection of coffee date conversations between two friends, providing well needed education. The tone of the book can be summed up in this quote from the first letter: "your potential discomfort can no longer be the reason we don't talk about race."”
— Susan, Review on Goodreads
Endorsements:
“Mel Gravely provides a powerful perspective of being, striving, and thriving as a Black man in America. He critically evaluates the impact of conscious and unconscious bias on a Black man, a Black family and a Black community; and provides tools for increasing awareness, understanding and a call to action.”
— Farad Ali
CEO & Advocate for Diversity and Inclusion
“I originally thought Dear White Friend was not for me as an African American. After finishing the book, sometimes with a very visceral reaction, I now see how I can have more honest and thoughtful dialogue with my friends and colleagues.”
— Pamela Coleman-Brailsford
Retired Corporate Executive
“Compellingly optimistic! Dear White Friend fosters awareness, empathy, and a willingness to understand the true meaning of equity. It highlights the barriers that continue to exist, while also offering a foundation for solutions towards becoming a more equitable society!”
— Deidre K. Stokes Davis
Public K-12 Education Administrator
“For me, the significance of Dear White Friend was largely in experiencing the Black journey in the US, through the author’s eyes. I was transported to a place that doesn’t exist in the White experience. I felt a range of emotions ultimately prompting me to truly care about accomplishing equity.”
— Joan Fox
Business Owner & Management Consultant
“Dear White Friend hits on the complexities of race and distilling uncomfortable topics through the art of storytelling so that anyone can understand. The stories are a cry for truth and veracity around racial problem-solving—for those who bear the burden of code-switching; and, for those who may be complicit in structures that reinforce racial inequity.”
— Eddie L. Koen
President/CEO
Urban League of Greater Southwestern Ohio
“There is a saying, ‘If you don’t know you don’t know, then you think you know.’ This could be the epiphany of virtually every reader of Dear White Friend. Poignant, compelling, unnerving, direct, unsettling, and exceptionally thought provoking. Thank you for opening my mind, my eyes, and yes, my heart.”
— Bobby Fisher
Entrepreneur & Investor
“Dear White Friend offers a poignant and powerful perspective and is an insightful and thought-provoking read for those seeking to understand the realities of race in our nation and the path forward.”
— Renee Mahaffey Harris
CEO/President
The Center for Closing the Health Gap
“I realized I’m comfortable with Dr. Mel Gravely because he’s brilliant; not because of his race. Because I should know better, I’m persuaded to acknowledge by role in systemic racism. I loved the term ‘Actions of Intentionality’—acting on deliberate intentions. I can do this.”
— Janette A. Keiser
PE, JD
Small Business Owner
“Dear White Friend took me inside the painful observations and reality of racism experienced by my long-time community partner and friend. It hurt. It made me look in the mirror more deeply. It motivates me to further leverage my enormous privilege and platform as an ally and advocate.”
— Michael Fisher
President/CEO
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center
“Dear White Friend provides a candid and uncomplicated view of the Black experience in America by exploring the intersection of race and inequity. I connected profoundly with the letters—seeing myself in each one. I hope this book motivates people to accept the hard truths and act with greater intention.”
— Kristal Howard
Corporate Executive & Culture Changer
“Mel Gravely uses his perspective as a Black man and a successful corporate leader to illustrate the lived experiences of minorities and a framework to authentically move organizations from racial diversity to racial equity in a tone that feels like an enlightening conversation among peers.”
— Crystal Kendrick
President
The Voice of Your Customer
“Dear White Friend is part diary, part self-help, part societal rebuke, and part vision for a better future. I seldom read a book that is both thought provoking and practical. It challenged me to challenge my friends and colleagues—and provided me with a roadmap to do it.”
— Crystal German
Community Economic Development Practitioner
“I believe we cannot grow in meaningful ways if we are not challenged. Dear White Friend challenged me to step into someone else’s shoes and understand a different perspective. In the quiet of reading, I could listen and be present to the stirrings of my own discomfort. I am better for it.”
— Ellen M. Katz
President/CEO
Greater Cincinnati Foundation
“Dear White Friend gives me hope! The evidence compiled in these pages, methodically and objectively, is heartbreaking, infuriating, and embarrassing. But the author’s honesty and experience, and his call for self-education and action, affirm the importance of friendship in righting historic, horrific wrongs. We can—indeed, we must—do this!”
— Alecia Townsend Kintner
President/CEO
ArtsWave
“Dear White Friend is a highly biographical and statistically supported work. Mel draws upon writing techniques derivative of the Disciple Paul, Samuel Richardson’s Clarissa, and Harriet Jacob’s Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl to challenge us to move toward a more intimate relationship that acknowledges the curious burden race places upon our American society and friendships.”
— Eric Kearney
Attorney & Business Owner
“Confronting racism is complex and hard. This book demonstrates why we—regardless of race—need to do it anyway and make the conversations mean something by actually taking action. I can’t wait to use it as a tool to help create workplace equity.”
— Arlene Koth
Activist, Business Owner & Civic Leader